I have been blogging for a year! I can’t believe it! Tony didn’t believe I would last three months & here I am, a year later, with a beautifully designed blog & over a hundred posts. Amazing.
To celebrate, I decided I would tell you a little story; a story on how & why this blog entered the world. Sit back and relax my little darlings.
My wrist was itching to write. Emotions flooded my mind & overtook the peaceful calm; anger, jealousy, grief. Grief for the life I used to lead, the problems I used to carry; how I longed for my old worries.
How can I overcome these feelings? How can I achieve the next step of content, knowing my new path certainties; blood counts, scans, no drinking, going to bed early, etc… How can I be satisfied with my new goals?
It had been a year. A long year, sprinkled with doctor appointments, needles, and nurses. I still felt as though my wheels were spinning in mud; stuck. My emotions were a wild roller coaster & it was a ride I couldn’t escape. I needed to unbuckle & climb out, get off the ride I hated. I’ve tried, but still felt captured. My fingers couldn’t grasp the courage I needed, it dangled far out of reach. I needed help; I needed control.
Then, it dawned on me. What if I could help others? Would it, in return, help myself? What if I had someone tell me what I’m feeling was normal? What if there were others that felt stuck, needed courage, & wanted to leap off the roller coaster? I know what I must do: reach out to those like me. Connect. Reflect. Grow.
So I needed to start. I started sitting in my living room alone, with my puppy asleep on my lap – I wrote. Bon Iver’s melody gave me courage. My puppy’s heavy breathing kept my rhythm. I wrote it first, all thoughts, feelings, & questions. It was all there in my “get inspired” notebook: all my first ugly thoughts & feelings – it was too raw – but it was real.
Next, I played editor. I slashed the real ugly, punctuated, & reread. I found my platform in wordpress.com & picked my theme. Lastly, before typing my first post, I needed the name. The name is everything.
Gist: my cancer diagnosis; GastroIntestional Stromal Tumor; it is a part of me now, & it will be forever. Thus, my blog name, Gist of Life. A play on words of my new normal. My new story. My new life.
So there you have it. The night it all began. I have enjoyed every minute of writing and connecting. It is a part of me now. Just recently I have read words of others that have gone through similar feelings, reaching out to my blog for support. I have read words of encouragement. This is why I’m here, for these reasons, & I hope there are many more of these words in the future. To quote my favorite book, The Book Thief –
I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.
Have a good Thursday my lovelies.