October is my second favorite month, [it follows closely behind September… because you know, birthday month is always first].
I love the rhythm I’m feeling in the classroom.
I love falling asleep, listening to the cool, crisp breeze rustle the leaves in the woods, all the while tucked cozily under my duvet.
I love picking out my pumpkins and mums for my front stoop.
I love snugging by the fireplace with Ace, [you better believe we’ve turned it on already].
But most importantly, I love this October because it brought the news that I am able to get off chemo in March & start trying for a baby in June.
I had my six month scan this week & yesterday morning, I heard the best words come out of my doctors mouth. Not only did I have clear scans, my counts were basically normal, and then he showed me a study with statistics which made some of my fears subside.
After taking Gleevec for five years, patients in the study had a survival rate, [it still makes me cringe to use the words survival rates when I’m taking about myself] of over 90% & a re-occurrence rate of under 10%.
This. Is. Huge.
My doctor sat with such confidence while he showed me these numbers, smiling. He said he felt content, now knowing these numbers that we made the right decision of staying on chemo for five years instead of three. [The three year study shows survival rates of 63% & re-occurrence rates of 30%].
But now, pending everything continues to soar in the right direction, at the end of March I’ll be off chemo … for good.
& I can’t wait to just BE.
Be Kaylee, again.
The Kaylee without constantly being nauseous.
The Kaylee without severe stomach pains.
The Kaylee without nightly muscle cramps.
The Kaylee without a low immune system.
I also love the green light to think about a baby.
I’m trying not to get fixated on starting a family just yet. As excited and ready as I am, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. It’s just nice to have this choice, finally, for myself.
Yesterday afternoon I couldn’t stop crying big ol’ happy, crocodile tears; it was a beautiful moment in this journey that I won’t forget.