My grandma’s passing has been all I’ve thought about last week and this weekend. I had forgotten to blog about my year scans at the Mayo clinic on last Tuesday.
I met with a different doctor; normally I meet with Dr. Robinson, who knows exactly my goals and what I want to do over the next three years and beyond, so I was a bit nervous meeting with someone new. Her name was Dr. T and she was unbelievable! She answered the questions I had with honest opinions.. (can I get a tattoo or can I not get a tattoo?), and when we started speaking about babies and my plan for the future I could have cried tears of joy.
Tony and I want to be able to have our own children. The two appointments previous, I had asked Dr. Robinson about options after three years: Will I be able to get off of my chemo and get pregnant on my own? Will we have to use a different procedure to ensure I get pregnant right away? What are the risks I will have getting off of my chemo to be able to get pregnant? Etc…
The problem is there are a lot of unknowns. My cancer is rare, so there are a lot of things to be researched and learned. The Mayo thinks my case is especially interesting because of my age and that I’m a female who wants to have children. They don’t know the risks yet or what the best decision will be in three years.
However, Dr. T had all these questions under control. She set up an appointment for me to meet with an OB at my next visit to discuss options I may have being on chemo. The OB I will meet with is someone who specializes with woman who have been on chemo, and according to Dr. T, is the best.
Dr. T left me with saying, “I know you’re a woman who wants a plan. I know you want to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I get it. I’m going to make that happen for you.”
Amazing. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was as if the clouds opened and a beam of sunlight hit my face. I felt refreshed, relieved, calm, happy, and positive. Although this feeling didn’t last long, worries of my grandma entered my mind quickly after coming home, I feel like I can sit back and just let life happen. I don’t need to plan out every step along the way; I just need to enjoy the moment – life’s too short to do anything else.