This Memorial weekend has brought the sun. It has been absolutely beautiful outside; mid 70’s with a wonderful breeze.
My grandma’s wake and funeral brought a week of tears, sprinkled with a couple laughs. Being around family is always a good thing. Family really is the most important thing. They really are there until the end, (I know, I know, another cliche, but it’s true!).
The wake was a rumbling thunderstorm. Each new visitor walked through the picture boards, admired my grandma’s needlework, and giggled at adorable photos of her. Each visitor would bring clouds upon my grandpa’s face. You could see who was close to him by the way his face would change as they approached to pay their respects. It was something I couldn’t bare. Watching my grandpa hug friends and family broke my heart. Overall, a weight off his shoulders was lifted as the thunderstorm came to it’s end.
The funeral was beautiful. Can they be? The music captured my grandma spirit, and the eulogy consisted of memories from all of us grandchildren. It was bittersweet, because it reminded me of all the wonderful times we had with her growing up. It also made my heart hurt. The idea of never seeing her again, it’s not something I can wrap my head around.
Today, the sun has been shining. I decided I was not going to let the memories of her be forgotten. I bought flowers with my mom yesterday, which reminded us both of her. It was a silent understanding that neither of us had to talk about. I knew my mom was thinking of her as I picked up two fuchsia plants for a planted pot for the patio. My grandma and I both loved fuchsias. I want to be reminded of her. It lets me know that the relationship I had with her was, in fact, real. It shows me the love I felt for her was deep. I don’t want that feeling to be lost.
I was able to bring home a beautiful bouquet from her funeral. It was the bouquet that was from the grandchildren. All of the spring flowers in the bouquet screamed her name; peonies, tulips, roses, snapdragons, hydrangeas, and ranunculus. I’ve been taking good care of it, changing out the water and pulling out the flowers that have wilted. Normally, I don’t have such a green thumb, but a part of me feels keeping this alive, keeps her alive. That sounds dumb, but I decided today that I was going to do something my grandma always did.
When she deadheaded her flowers, she kept the tops and put them in bowls with water. They always looked so pretty, because the flowers seemed to spark open a bit more for another week. I did this today. It gave me a good cry, but it also gave me a big smile. I know she’s watching me, probably proud because I stole her trick.
The thought of her watching me, for once, made me smile.